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Monday, 5 March 2012

Griefer-safe EVE life

Posted on 22:00 by Unknown
Griefers are the plague of EVE and make its bad name. They aren't pirates who go for loot but kiddies going for "tears". It's common belief that griefers can't be avoided, they are a menace that can hit you anytime and there is nothing you can do about it. You can of course stand up and start again but you are never safe. You must always look over your shoulder and still they will hit you. EVE is not safe. It's not for "carebears".

I'm completely sure that this belief is the most important reason why many prospective players stay away from this great game. Who wants to play in an environment where a 12 years old kid who stole the credit card of his daddy can destroy your ingame life at will?

What I'm telling here is not a trick to avoid most griefers. No self-restricting rules come like "make a 0-m dock bookmark to every possible station" or "check ships destroyed in last 24 hours statistic every 5 minutes and if it increases in your system instantly dock and log".

The point is neither that griefers are vastly overestimated. This scientific research says that people who fear something see them bigger than they are. Since people fear griefers, they way overestimate their number. If we'd listen to the amount of whine about them, we'd guess that an average person is griefed several times a week. I've never been killed in EVE in high sec. How many exact encounters can you recall that happened to you or someone you personally know (not "some guy my buddys roommate once talked about")?

No. I'm offering you advice that can make you 100% safe from this plague. The griefer is a simple creature, he wants to cause ... [intensive drumming] ... grief. He wants to see some evidence of his target is being sad or angry. His second account is reading the local chat and if you are in the newbie starter corporation, the corporation chat. He may even initiate direct conversation to taunt you. I have no idea what he wants or why he does it, it's completely alien to me, but instead of moralizing or analyzing, just accept his motivation to get "tears".

The griefer will be killed by CONCORD. He surely don't care about it, otherwise he wouldn't do it. That's why he looks unbeatable: he cannot lose anything he cares about, you can. However he very much care about your feelings about his ship blowing up. Remember that he thinks that loss of the ship is the way of suffering and seeing others losing ship is fun. You saw him losing his ship, so you're having fun. All you have to do is make sure that his loss is greater than yours, and somehow communicate this to him. Unless you are doing something stupid like carrying several hundred millions in lowbie ships, the first is given. The game is designed the way that in high security space pirating is not profitable against average targets. You can increase this difference by having a premium insurance. It's not cheap, but a worthy investment, not just ISK but safety-feeling wise.

Now you have to communicate it. The easiest to do so in your bio that you can edit on your character screen. Add something like "I'm paranoid, have my ship max insured and never fly or carry anything I can't replace easily". And do so! If you bluff, you'll still be afraid, even if the bluff works! This way you can never be griefed. Your ship can still be destroyed but all it gives you a good laugh over the idiot who was spectacularly blown up by the CONCORD.

This is the reason why the tag is "philosophy". I doubt if the fear of loss of pixels keep people away from EVE. It's the social idea of being in the mercy of 12 years old kiddies. The solution is recognizing that you are not. They can only harm themselves and give you a good laugh. This way you present them the unsolvable dilemma: "If you rickroll someone who actually likes Never gonna give you up, you are giving him a gift!". Because that is needed: while we don't understand what is fun of destroying some total strangers ship, but a true goblin always have fun when sees M&S suffer because of their own idiocy.

If you get blown up by some of them, please try to start conversation with him and send me the log where he desperately tries to prove that he won and you should be sad now and that he "knows" that you are crying and he is "having fun"! Let's share the laugh on this blog!

Of course the above doesn't mean you should ignore the basic EVE safety rule: never fly or carry anything you can't replace easily. Oh wait, the platinum insurance just replaced your ship, the only cost will be the new insurance.


PS: short business update: Cash + buy orders + sell orders = 912M (500M gift)

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