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Sunday, 3 March 2013

Elite PvP: Cormorant kills 3 Taloses

Posted on 22:00 by Unknown
After I got 52B/month solo kills, the Elite PvP folks weren't amused. Actually they raged in 140+ comments on EN24 over my kills because they aren't "real" kills as the targets had no guns. I felt really bad that these great guys I want to belong don't approve my performance, so I went on a solo roam with a Cormorant destroyer, to get real, "l33t killz".

On my way to lowsec, luck shined upon me in the form of a suspect Talos sitting on the highsec side of a lowsec gate. Despite I was only in a Cormorant - like every l33t peep - I engaged. While it seemed to be hopeless, only by l33t skillz I emerged victorious. The ebbil piwate was mad and reshipped to another Talos to get revenge, but again he was no match to my mad skillz. Raging, he demanded one more round and as a honorable PvP-er, I granted him, but yet again l33t skillz defeated ship size. Now without doubt I've proven that I'm a real PvPr and should be respected for my knowledge of the art of pew.

OK, I think you are just as annoyed by this disgusting bragging written in kidspeak as I am writing it. Obviously, the 3 Taloses belonged to my alt who just idled peacefully while being slowly eaten by the destroyer. But still, I have 3 API verified kill reports of a Cormorant defeating 3 Taloses and there is absolutely no way for you to prove what really happened. Just like you have no way to prove that any of the worshipped "elite PvPers" are legitimate. I can call each and every one of them altkilling, remote-repped and boosted fakers who had a whole fleet of corpies clearing up gatecamps in his way, removing any threat and supplying easy kills. Again: I can call every single "elite PvP" videos and stories fakes, cheats, lies and there is nothing the author can do to disprove it, probably because most of them are indeed fakes, cheats and lies.

The only way to prove the "value" of a kill is a developer guarded tournament, like AT. Surprisingly we don't see a single ship destroying several larger ships on its own there, we see balanced encounters.

Creating "l33t killz" isn't even expensive, thanks to the several forms of welfare CCP provides to "for fun" PvP-ers. The largest - without doubt - is insurance:
53M ISK was created from thin air by CCP and given to the victim for each kills, just for being AFK while killed. But insurance isn't the only form of welfare, there are also bounties. While they aren't created from thin air, there are always idiots who have money to waste on this feature:
Add 18M more in drops and salvage and the cost of creating 316M kills was only 112.3M. Yes, you can turn every ISK you have into 3 ISK "elite solo" kills and I have no doubt that many people do so.

There is no such thing as proven skill in EVE. Ourside of AT, there is no way to tell anything about a kill besides that it happened. Therefore the only difference between PvP performance of players is ISK destroyed. So highsec gankers and alt-killing rich people are the best PvP-ers, no matter what the "elite" claims in their fake videos, made-up stories during their quest to gain false prestige among fellow lolling fakers.

Update: even if we accept that a properly skilled board of players can spot fakers by some pattern, such board does not exist so there is nothing that would stop a faker to gain elite status. Remember, CCP had to change neutral logies to suspect because using neut logies in highsec 1v1 was rather the norm. Despite the victim usually wrote a comment to the kill, no one cared and anyone looks up the pilot will accept the kill as a valid 1v1. My point is that without such board no one can be called elite, therefore the term "elite PvP" cannot exist.
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